The Beatles Third Christmas Record

Track list

Side 1

1. The Beatles Third Christmas Record

   Written by Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, John Lennon, George Harrison, Tony Barrow

   6:20 • Studio version • A

   Performed by : Paul McCartney • Ringo Starr • John Lennon • George Harrison Norman Smith : Engineer Ken Scott : Second engineer Tony Barrow : Producer

   SessionRecording : Monday, November 8, 1965 • Studio : EMI Studios, Studio Two, Abbey Road

   SessionMixing : Tuesday, November 9, 1965 • Studio : EMI Studios, Room 65, Abbey Road

From The Beatles’ Christmas records – Wikipedia:

Several off-key, a cappella versions of “Yesterday” are dispersed throughout the record, alongside Lennon’s “Happy Christmas to Ya List’nas”, “Auld Lang Syne” (which briefly morphs into an impression of Barry McGuire’s “Eve of Destruction”), a one-and-a-half-line version of the Four Tops’ “It’s the Same Old Song” (which they quickly stop before they violate the copyright), and an original poem titled “Christmas Comes But Once a Year”.

Members of the Beatles US fan-club did not receive this (or any) Christmas flexi-disc in 1965. Rather, they received a black and white postcard, with a photo of the Fab Four and the message “Season’s Greetings – Paul, Ringo, George, John.” The Beatle Bulletin, the publication of the US fan-club, explained in its April 1966 edition that the tape arrived too late to prepare the record in time for Christmas.

From Rolling Stone, December 20, 2020:

The Beatles’ 1965 Christmas offering got off to a false start on October 19th, when the band convened at London’s Marquee Studios to create what they hoped would be a bold step forward in holiday greetings. It was a week into their creatively fertile sessions for Rubber Soul and anything seemed possible, but this represented one of the few occasions when the magic failed to materialize. Outtakes purportedly from the date reveal ambitious plans for elaborate sketches stitched together for a show on their own fictitious pirate network, “Radio Beatle People.”

Unfortunately, none of the musicians appear all that enthusiastic as the tapes roll. Sound effects fade in and out seemingly at random, while the band attempts to make up jokes and stories, apparently on the spot. McCartney reads the in-studio weather, portrays a German pipe organ superfan, and leads listeners on a visit to a “wind-making” factory, while Harrison serves as sports commentator at a boxing match with Lennon doing his best faux Muhammad Ali raps. Most interesting, albeit gross, is a discussion on the finer points of dismembering babies while a loop of a cooing infant plays. The bit may have provided inspiration to photographer Robert Whitaker, who was present in the studio for at least some of the session. […]

Through it all they fail to maintain the same carefree bonhomie of years past. “Uh, John, I understand you had a couple of words to say to us,” McCartney says at one point. Lennon can only mumble, “It’s been a long time since I’ve had a chance to speak to you on this level and … that’s about all.” McCartney, acting as host and cheerleader, continues to prod his mates into action. “Where’s all the good cheer we used to know? Maybe we’re not pulling together, ladies and gentlemen. Maybe we have to pull together with one concerted effort … and pull our party in the lead! If we could keep going for another couple of hours and maybe we’d get something.” After a lengthy amount of aimless chatter, Lennon chimes in with a crucial observation: “Has anyone mentioned Christmas yet?” To remedy the issue they toss off a few skewered holiday ditties with names like “The Holly and the Mustard” and “Silent Bonfire Night.” Starr scores the biggest laugh during “The 12 Days of Christmas,” singing the off-color, “On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me, one bird a hummin’, two sailors coming …” The session, and the tapes, were abandoned soon after.

They would try again at Abbey Road on November 8th. Aware that the band was struggling, producer George Martin kept the tape running while they worked through Harrison’s “Think For Yourself” earlier in the day, hoping to capture some amusing studio chatter to add to the mix. (It was not to be, but a snippet of backing vocals did surface in the film Yellow Submarine.) Recorded well after midnight, the 1965 Christmas greeting followed much the same format as previous years’, beginning with a comic warble of “Yesterday” and an original by Lennon titled “Happy Christmas to Ya List’nas.” A brief parody of Barry McGuire’s end-times anthem “Eve of Destruction” features a surprisingly overt reference to the escalating conflict in Vietnam – much to the annoyance of their manager, Brian Epstein, already smarting from their stubborn refusal to reprise their annual Christmas performance residency. An airing of the Four Tops’ recent Motown hit “It’s the Same Old Song” – almost immediately halted amongst shouts of “Copyright!” – can be heard as a message to Epstein, and anyone else who cared to listen. The Beatles’ need to progress artistically had become all-consuming. 

Beatles late on message

LAST people to hear the Beatles’ fan club Christmas message this year were the Beatles! When they dropped in Brian Epstein’s West End office last week a tape recording of the message was being played by visitors. “Hey, let’s hear that,” shouted Paul, “we haven’t heard it ourselves yet!”

John and George laughed at the horribly out of tune send-up version of “Yesterday”. “It’s satire,” said John. And the record went on to “Eve of Destruction” with yells of “Jordan” and “bodies”.

From Melody Maker – December 11, 1965

Beatles zany Xmas chat

JOHN, PAUL, GEORGE and RINGO have again sent a free copy of their specially recorded Christmas message to all their Fan Club members. It’s quite the lengthiest one they’ve produced so far—full of giggles, good humour and ad-lib chatter.

The disc opens with a terribly off-key version of “Yesterday,” after which Ringo points out that they’ve got to thank everyone for all the presents they’ve received this year. “Thanks for all the chewed-up pieces of chewing gum,” says John.

After a serious word of thanks from George, this enlightening dialogue ensues:

Paul: Well, what have we done this year, Ringo?
Ringo: I see you haven’t shaved again.
Paul: We’ve been away…
Ringo: And we’ve come back again.

John then breaks into a pseudo-Scottish song, employing the most atrocious accent, and finishing with “Have a bonnie Christmas with a pound of Irish stew.” Which is the cue for the boys to launch into a folk-style version of “Auld Lang Syne,” complete with tambourine.

Subsequently there’s an attempt to start another song, but they quickly drop it because of copyright! And when they start pondering on what, in fact, they can sing, they eventually settle for “We’ll Gather Lilacs In An Old Brown Shoe.”

Ringo decides they ought to play a request for the boys in (what he calls) B.A.O.R.E.—which leads into a very funny mickey-take on the inevitable “Two-Way Family Favourites” opening, something like this:

“It’s not quite so fine here in Germany.”
“The weather’s raining here, it’s not too good.”
“Oh, we’ve had a lot of rain.”
“Stay tune in, folks, this is a five-way hook-up.”
“If you’ve enjoyed this programme, tune in to 29314967 megacycles. And if you can’t find that, drop it.”

Next, we’re treated to “Auld Lang Syne” in the Barry McGuire style, bringing in mentions of Vietnam and the River Jordan (“That should cover Israel,” comments Ringo) before John cuts in with the announcement: “If you haven’t got yours, send fourpence and get a free one!”

For the grand finale the boys revert to “Yesterday,” but change the title to “Christmas Day.” Half-way through there’s a deliberately corny monologue, backed by humming and out-of-tune whistling, ending with: “Don’t forget—the old and the new, some folks blue, some folks green. You take no notice of ’em, it’s an all-white policy in this group!”

They’re still singing away merrily, pub fashion—with cries of “Fade it there, Charlie” and “Put the red light off,” when the record comes to an end.

Yes, the Beatles were certainly in great form when they recorded this episode. And if you happen to possess a copy of the record (you can’t buy it in the shops, by the way), I’m sure you’ll be the envy of your friends. In fact, it’s almost worth joining the Beatles’ Fan Club to make sure you get their exclusive Christmas disc every year!

From New Musical Express – December 24, 1965